Drunk Driving Chud Shut Down by School Board

MAGA clown fails to get principal fired.

NOTE: This is an update to (and includes an un-paywalled version of) the “MAGA Activist-Clown Busted For OUI” Crash Report from yesterday.

Weirdo doesn’t know difference between “your” and “you’re.”

Despite all his big talk and bluster, local Trump-man Nicholas Blanchard failed last night in his bid to get the principal of Cony Middle and High School fired from her job. In fact, the knucklehead barely had a chance to insult school department employees from the rostrum during the public comment period before being cut off by Martha Witham, chair of the Augusta School Board.

Also, as further evidence of his dumbness, check out Blanchard sporting a “Your Fired” tee shirt featuring a photo of Principal Kim Liscomb. (For the chuds reading this, the phrase is “You’re Fired,” a conjunction of you are fired. The word “Your” is a possessive adjective.)

The clip below contains both Witham explaining how the public comments work, notably the “no insulting school employees” rule, plus Blanchard’s minute and a half “testimony” in it’s entirety. Oddly, Blanchard was low-energy, compared to previous visits to this school board. Also notably absent was Blanchard’s cardboard Trump doll. Some local wags have suggested his change of demeanor is connected to my reporting that Child Protection Services is investigating him for leaving his six-year-old kid home alone on the night in mid-February when he was arrested for OUI after drinking, driving and getting stuck in a snowbank. (More on that below.)

Contrary to reporting by WMTW, there was no “heated debate” during the meeting. In fact, other than Blanchard’s failed attempt to be an asshole, the rest of the meeting was pleasant, especially compared to other recent School Board spectacles attended by Blanchard and his comrades.

Also, I gotta say the WMTW story was extremely lazy journalism. Not only do they treat Blanchard as a legit character, the reporter doesn’t provide context to the exchange between the chud and the chair. Also, the TV newschannel ignored that Blanchard’s concept of a petition to fire a principal is actually a nothing-burger story. First of all, chud-circulated petitions are NOT how school personnel decisions are made. Secondly, Blanchard has zero connection to Cony or the school district, which WMTW failed to note. And the reporter also neglected to mention Blanchard’s recent record of disrupting the board’s meetings across Maine. Nor did the reporter explain how Blanchard’s previous attempt to influence the board’s policy — in January — included harassing members and calling them “pedos” and “groomers,” then publishing their home addresses on-line and printing their info on tee-shirts.

Yikes. No wonder folks have trouble trusting the media. Also, all the red-shirted people in the audience were showing support FOR the principal, not for MAGA. (Cony High’s colors are red.)

MAGA Activist-Clown Busted For OUI

Chud leaves six-year-old home alone while driving drunk. Child Protective Services gets involved.

by Crash Barry

It was a little before midnight on Feb. 13 when an Augusta police officer patrolling Riverside Drive noticed a car stuck in a snowbank. The mid-winter evening’s light flurries and mist had made this stretch of Route 100 slick. Folks had been slipin’ and slidin’ all night, so the cop pulled over to lend a helping hand.

The driver of the stuck car — a neck-bearded white male in his mid-30s — must have been all nerved up when the cruiser arrived on the scene. He’d been drinking. And, equally bad, he’d left his six-year-old kid alone in his Augusta apartment, while out galavanting and giving a pal a ride home after an evening of adult beverages and dabs.

Didn’t take long for the cop to get suspicious about the distressed motorist. Dude smelled of booze and was acting odd. His bug eyes were a-bulging and his neck-beard was a-bristling. Plus the car’s [[redacted]] vanity license plate, the dozen-and-a-half Trump bumper stickers plastered all over the vehicle and the life-sized cardboard cutout of the orange president propped up in the back seat gave the cop pause.

Wait a minute. He knew this guy. Not by name, but by reputation. Almost didn’t recognize him without his red, white and blue flag suit and cartoonishly oversized foam red MAGA hat.

Checking his license confirmed it. The individual was Nick Blanchard, 35 years of age, of Augusta. A weirdo known to local authorities, initially thanks to a long list of pandemic-era criminal trespass notices served on him from various Hannafords, Shaw’s and Walmarts in southern and central Maine, for messing with store employees and mask policy. He was also one of the dudes in D.C. on Jan. 6, 2021 seen on video destroying Capitol barricades. (Never charged, but an FBI agent who interviewed the bloke post-riot told me that Blanchard “liked to talk.”)

More recently, though, Blanchard is known, locally, for his hobby of bringing his life-sized cardboard Trump doll to various school board meetings IN SCHOOL DISTRICTS HIS KID DOESN’T ATTEND and using the public comment periods to scold school officials with his many grievances. His most recent fixation: the genitalia of high school athletes. Also, he’s hyper-focused on school bathroom policy.

All very strange for a man of his age without a kid in the local schools. His obsession with students’ biological functions makes the chud seem like a real pedo or perv. Especially since I’ve been told by multiple sources the 35-year-old Blanchard prefers the company of females between the ages of 20 and 21.

The investigating cop, standing next to the car and snowbank on Riverside Drive, was also probably aware of Blanchard’s antics at an Augusta School Board meeting back in January. That’s when a buddy of Blanchard’s — another kid-obsessed freak without children in Augusta schools — was arrested after ignoring the public comment “time-limit” set by the meeting’s chair.

His pal’s arrest pissed Blanchard off and triggered a social media blitzkrieg. He began calling the Augusta PD “nazis” on the socials, during podcasts and phone calls to Infowars. Then Blanchard widely shared photoshopped images of the arresting officer wearing a nazi-uniform.

(The Mea Culpa Crash Report goes into great detail about this incident and lots of other Blanchard-related hijinks. And, as we predicted, the charges against Blanchard’s friend have been dropped.)

All of the “Protect the Children” stuff is just part of Blanchard’s current chudish strategy of intimidation and attention-getting. The goal for Blanchard and his ilk, primarily, is NOT to further dialogue concerning the many real issues modern education faces. No, these petulant man-boys act out merely to disrupt and get thumbs ups, hugs and hearts on the socials. His favorite tactics include, but are not limited to, lugging his cardboard Trump doll to meetings and calling school board members “soy boys and groomers” during public comment.

At a recent Augusta school board meeting he played audio of a Trump speech via his phone through the microphone, then finished his public comment rant by sneering a creepy “Daddy’s Back!” while directing a withering stare toward the meeting chair. Then, he picked up his Trump-cutout dolly and returned to the peanut gallery, to be welcomed like a hero by his cadre of clapping and backslapping low-IQ trogs.

He tried the same audio shenanigans at a RSU5 board meeting in Freeport in late February, (another school district with whom he has ZERO connection,) but got shot down real quick when the chair ordered Blanchard to shut off the Trump-tape.

The chud meekly complied, and then, standing next to the life-sized cardboard cutout of his orange king, he raised a copy of Auburn Rep. Laurel Libby’s garbage meme doxxing a Maine teenager and unleashed vitriol towards trans-teens. That “Braveheart-esque” move led to temporary disorder and a decision by the chair to call a five minute recess.

(Blanchard, btw, spends a lot time on the socials dissing Rep. Libby, chiding her for missing a couple of pro-bigotry rallies held in Augusta. Libby supporters, therefore, criticize Blanchard for backstabbing.)

All just part of Blanchard’s strategy of disruption and obstruction. After the RSU5 meeting, for instance, he bragged on-line that the five-minute recess caused by his buffoonery was a victory.

Yeah. Ok.

In addition to his school board bonkers behavior, Blanchard recently made a big deal out of renaming the activist group he founded to fight the COVID vaccine. “Patriots with Attitude” is now to be called “Parents with Attitude” to reflect his new obsession with other people’s children, without having to change the monogram on his tea towels.

No word on the membership numbers of his weird-mom-and-pop group, but between six and a dozen comrades regularly help him with school board harassment and Blanchard’s other side-hustles, including his latest preoccupation: collecting enough signatures to get the Augusta school board to fire Kim Liscomb, the principal of Cony Middle and High School. And, to this end, he’s embarked on a campaign of harassment that borders on stalking

Remember, this knucklehead doesn’t have a kid in Augusta schools, let alone Cony. And he’s only lived in Augusta for the last year. Not even a property owner, just a tenant in another chud’s 3-unit apartment building.

So what’s his beef with Liscomb? He claims that Liscomb, who also happens to be president of the Maine Principals Association, sinned by ignoring Trump’s executive edicts regarding middle school bathroom policy.

Wut?

Yeah, that’s the level of discourse this wacky dude is pushing. And he gets help from other nutjobs as well. Like his pal Truth-Slinger, aka Tim Bodnar, a convicted-felon, failed farmer and serial loser, headquartered in a rundown shack in the woods of St. Albans in Somerset County. Bodnar, who apparently has mastered the use of AI to make stupid videos, constructed this paean to Blanchard, who also goes by the nickname of Corn Pop.

I dare you to watch this amazing music vid.

The positive response from other chuds has further inspired Blanchard to continue his witch-hunt against the principal of a school at which he has ZERO connection. He claims his phone and socials are “blowing up” in support of his mission to get Liscomb fired. And, as you can see in this video below, the dude is pretty friggin’ numb-in-the-skull.

Unfortunately, Blanchard is a role model for other morons. Like Kyle Black, Augusta resident and a father of five, who apparently has a son attending Cony, where, Black claims “a furry” tried to bite his son. The teacher, according to Black, told his kid that “there was nothing they could do about it.”

Black apparently didn’t think that Blanchard’s paper-and-pen petition to oust Principal Liscomb was enough. Thus, using the change.org platform, he launched an e-version of Blanchard’s efforts. As of press time, 972 alleged humans supposedly sign the digi-doc.

However, like Blanchard’s efforts, this is another pointless effort, since the number one named “targeted decision makers” of the on-line petition is the “State Legislature of Maine,” a government entity with no power to hire and fire Cony Middle and High School staff. A quick perusal of the comments attached to the signatories seems to suggest that many of the signers are either bots, dumb teenagers or dumb, teenaged bots.

Hashtag FAILSON

Why do guys like Blanchard devote themselves to such stupid shit? Probably because wasting other people’s time gives them a sense of power. Especially since their own lives are lousy due to their design or actions. Consider Blanchard’s situation. His job at an [[redacted]] warehouse is dead-end. Steady pay and benefits, for now, but droogs like him are swiftly being replaced by robots. With no discernible skills (unless flapping his bearded jowls somehow becomes marketable,) once AI steals his job, Blanchard will be rendered obsolete. Next winter, someone will find him down by the river in Augusta, befuddled and huddled, trying to warm his hands over a burn-barrel fire, fueled by torching his cardboard Trump-doll, his multiple (unread) copies of The Art of A Deal along with all his extra MAGA hats and tee-shirts.

Blanchard’s school board disruptions, obviously, aren’t actually connected to education policy or realistic reform. His behavior is performative, merely so he can re-post selfie-videos on Facebook and Rumble for the likes and shares in order to get the endorphins and poz feelings otherwise missing from his psyche. When fellow chuds call him a hero for being an asshole to school personnel, the praise temporarily erases the real facts of Blanchard’s life. His bank account is empty because of Uber fees and his addiction to buying China-made Trump regalia.

There’s no way to compute how much time, money and energy has been wasted due to this doofus disrupting meetings across the state in the half-dozen years since he moved to Maine.

Especially ironic, since while this imbecile moans about schools he knows nothing about, he appears to be very happy with his own kid’s public education and doesn’t dare speak to his child’s teachers in the manner he yells at educators from other school districts.

Guys like Blanchard, unfortunately, are one of the side effects of democracy. And, obviously, emboldened by their orange autarch, these loud-mouthed bug-eyes are becoming more and more commonplace at municipal meetings across Maine. And, in many cases, their actions make it tough to convince normies to run for office or serve on boards. After all, most folks don’t get into public service to waste their nights being forced to listen to legions of moronic bullies like Blanchard grandstanding and bellyaching.

Some readers might think I’m overly harsh with my critique of Blanchard’s lack of intelligence. Rest assured, I’m being totally accurate about his level of stupidity. After all, this is a guy who STILL promotes Q-Anon and apparently believes the Earth is flat. And since being baptized in a cattle trough under a Trump banner, back in 2023, in the now-closed fascist movie theater in Ellsworth, by the witch-hunting prophet Greg Locke, Blanchard is a committed hardcore Christian-Nationalist meat puppet.

ATTENTION: IF THAT PREVIOUS SENTENCE MADE SENSE TO YOU, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM YOUR SCREEN AND FIND A TREE TO HUG.

Speaking of trees, last December Blanchard replaced his Xmas tree (TOO PAGAN!) with a six foot tall “Christmas cross.” Not joking, as you can see below. Constructed with 2x4s wrapped with fake greenery, decorated with Trump ornaments and tinsel, topped with a MAGA hat, Blanchard tried to sell his creation to other morons, but no one was dumb enough to buy one. Because even imbeciles know that you don’t celebrate the joyous birth of Christ the Savior with the symbol of his bloody crucifixion.

Also, because Blanchard is such a big-brained multi-tasker, he continues to try to grow the Maine chapter of the national Trump motorcycle “gang” known as “Born to Ride 45.”

Thing is, Blanchard ain’t a biker. Doesn’t own a bike. Can’t ride ‘em. Also, thanks to his drunk drinking arrest, it’s unlikely he’s gonna be learning how to master a two-wheeler anytime soon.

As I previously explained in Mea Culpa, I was really hoping to never have to write about this dweeb again. After all, he’s appeared in Crash Reports here, here and here. For sure, it’s funny content and easy fodder because he’s such a chuckle-head. To be blunt, though, I’m bored by this moron’s goofy antics. And there are a ton of other chuds on my “to-do” list who also merit a closer look. However, this asshole continues to harass teachers, administrators and students across Maine without reprisal. And, unfortunately, Blanchard is a perfect example of the type of boot-licker trying to monkey-wrench public education on behalf of their orange savior.

Thing is, most Blanchard-esque chuds don’t wear red-white-blue jumpsuits and wear oversized foam hats. Which makes them a little bit harder to quickly spot them IRL. However, since these guys are all spoon fed the same talking points, once they start speaking it’s easy to identify them as a chud.

Dunderhead Busted

Every week, without fail, I get at least one (and often several) tips about Blanchard. Many are either un-confirmable (harassing female shoppers at Hannaford) or not newsworthy (fighting with colleagues at the trailer factory where he used to work) or within the purview of his free speech (yelling at school boards.)

A tip about Blanchard getting busted for drunk driving, however, is worth making a couple of phone calls. Especially since his actions endangered a child by leaving his little kid home alone on a cold winter’s night while out driving drunk.

So let’s return to that slippery mid-February night on Riverside Drive. A field sobriety test was administered. Blanchard failed. Next, the Augusta police officer cuffed and stuffed him into the backseat of the cruiser, then brought him downtown to the cop shop for another test to confirm his BAC level.

Augusta police provided the details of Blanchard’s arrest, but declined to provide breathalyzer readings because Blanchard’s case hasn’t been adjudicated yet. However, according to a police spokesman, Blanchard’s level was over the legal limit. Which meant, thanks to Maine’s fairly tough OUI laws, he immediately lost his license to operate a motor vehicle.

Also, the cops, after hearing about the kid being left alone — at midnight — were obligated as mandated reporters to call Department of Health and Human Services hotline to report an apparent case of child neglect. Under Maine law, “the absence of any person responsible for the child, which creates a threat of serious harm” falls under the “Child Protection Act” and triggers an investigation.

Considering the number of tips I get about Blanchard’s drinking and bad behavior, it’s obvious the dude has a problem with the sauce. And I hope he gets help, especially since he has a kid depending on him.

In addition to quitting booze, Blanchard should also give up getting behind the wheel, even after getting his license back. The knucklehead is a terrible driver. Don’t know if it’s his brain limitations or the placement of the placards, stickers, cutouts and flags on his vehicle, but the dude is a rolling blindspot and a menace on the road, endangering the lives of others on a regular basis.

Longtime Crash Report readers might remember, ten months ago, Blanchard was involved in a fatal accident in the town of Winslow that claimed the life of 21-year-old Dominic Reid. In the minutes following the morning crash, Blanchard took the time to post pictures of his destroyed Trump-mobile on the socials.

Since that fatal accident, I’ve repeatedly checked for the official report about the head-on-collison. (The cops say “ask the Kennebec County DA.” The DA says, “no comment.”) However, I’ve been told by a reliable source that Blanchard has NOT been found criminally “at fault” for that wreck.

According to court records, Blanchard’s only current case the Feb. 13, Class D - OUI charge. A conviction, since this is his first drunk driving arrest, would mean a 150-day license suspension, plus a minimum fine of $500.

On March 17, he pleaded not guilty. During the same hearing, and asked for — and received — a court-appointed attorney. Lucky for Blanchard that Maine taxpayers have his back and are paying for his lawyer.

Oddly, despite having a free public defender, Blanchard is currently raising money on the Give-Send-Go platform (aka GoFundMe for End Times Christians and Neo-Nazis) to pay for so-called “legal fees,” supposedly connected to his activism. Seems pretty suspect and smells grifty. As of press time, he’s raised $480, including promises from a couple supporters to tithe every month.

Or, to put it another way, Corn Pop has paid subscribers!!

You’d hope an arrest for OUI would be a sobering experience for a dude like Blanchard. An opportunity for reflection and pondering the decisions that got him in this situation in the first place. Perhaps it’s time to join AA? Maybe group therapy would open his eyes to the world around him. Perhaps learn some humility, tolerance and empathy for others.

Uhhhhhhh. Probably not.

Considering his cultish devotion to Trump, along with his rabid belief in Hillary-Drinks-Baby-Blood conspiracies and his membership in an End Times cult, I have serious doubts about his psychological ability (not to mention smarts) to function as a responsible adult contributing to the betterment of society in Maine.

And there’s no sign that he’s gonna let up on harassing educators like Principal Liscomb. His latest jibber-jabber on the socials promises to bring a big crowd TONIGHT to the Augusta School Board

Provided someone can give him a ride, that is. After all, until his June 17th at 8:30 a.m. court date, he’s def not allowed behind the wheel of a car. That’s the price he pays for drinking, driving and leaving his kid home alone.